Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize