i just google imaged poop.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
