I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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