he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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