He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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