if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
