"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
