Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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