I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
