It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
