Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
