i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
