it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
