If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
