I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
