let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
