Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
