He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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