I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
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He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
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He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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