Jerry, you need to find god
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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