The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
