I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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