i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
