I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Also, beer. Big fan.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
