I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
