So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
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Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
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Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Damn victory sex feels great
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