how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
