I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
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We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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