Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
