So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Did I show you my penis last night?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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