i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
