ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize