Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
