Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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