I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
