yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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