If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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