We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
