i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just want nice things and good sex
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
