Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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