I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize