i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
