I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
