i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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