dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
