its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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