Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
