I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
