I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Congratulations! We have a period
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