Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
