I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
