I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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