i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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