party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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