i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Randomize
