Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
