rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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