I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
